HOW
TO LOCATE YOUR FUTURE PARTNER IN DREAM
After few years had passed, I began to dream
constantly of visiting a rural and remote settlement, which in real life happens
to be the place I was born when my parents sojourned there for business. For
over 15 years I dreamt of going to that community. At a point, especially
around 2007 upwards, the dreams were coming very frequent. The irony of the
whole thing was that, I used to be very obsessed about visiting villages in
dream because some people made me to believe that such was a sign of demotion
or spiritual attack by forces from the village. So, I would quickly counter
each of the dreams when I woke up. It didn’t end there. I would visit the Blessed
Sacrament at Saint Mathew’s Catholic Church, Amukoko Lagos, my parish then,
during which I would also pray through the 14 stations of the Stations of the
Cross, begging God to liberate me from the impending doom.
However instead of the dreams to stop, they became
even more frequent and specific.
In one of the dreams, I saw a large crowd of people
leading a bride to meet her husband. All, but one of the people in the crowd
leading the bride were unfamiliar faces. The only person I recognized came to
meet me with smiling face, and said to me, “I told you that you would return to
our community; now it has happened”. She commended me again and again, and went
to join the others.
The familiar person is named Monica. She was my
close friend when my family was still living in their village. As close
friends, we used to discuss a lot of things. I remembered, I once told her that
no matter how rich I become, I would still be practicing agriculture, but I
never told her I would marry from her place, and for me taking a wife from her
town was the last on my mind. So, I never suspected the dreams were revealing
the place of my better half. I kept praying to God to save me and give me
better dreams.
The
dream that revealed it all
In the dream, my mum, who I regard to be an angel on
earth due to her strong religious standing, had invited me to come home from
Lagos. While in my room in the village, mum brought me a young lady and said,
“This is your wife. Everyone has adjudged her to be a nice girl and suited for
you; let me see why you won’t accept her as your wife”. I was working with my
laptop, and the lady sat on the bed close to me, looking happy. Mum left. Soon,
mum returned and said, “See, she is not from our village. She is a stranger. So
take her around our village to introduce her to our kits and kin, including
your step brother, Raphael”. Mum left to stay in our sitting room.
I quickly left the laptop. The lady and I stepped
out. We visited the houses of all my relations, both from paternal and maternal
sides. When we came back to the house, the girl suggested that we go and fetch
water. I agreed and we went. On reaching the Amankpu stream, (Amankpu used to
serve as the only source of drinking water for my people before boreholes
started springing up), we saw that the water was full of tadpoles as it used to
be sometimes in real life. We didn’t fetch immediately. We sat on the walls
built around the stream, discussing based on the request of the girl that we
should chat a little before going home. Before, I could turn; I saw that she
had fetched very clean water, which baffled me. I asked, “How were you able to
fetch such clean water from this tadpole infested pool of water?” She simply
smiled saying, “don’t mind what you find in the stream. Water from it is very
good and is even medicinal, curing a lot of diseases”.
Then she carried the bucket of water and headed
home. While we walked home, we saw ongoing massive work for different projects
including pipe borne water. She told me we would execute our own projects with
huge supports from the World Bank. I was so excited that she was too friendly
to be with and seemed to know so much about my place and where to source for
fund. We walked past the construction site and soon we approached my house. I
told her why I built that house and the other things I intended to do there.
She showed approval for all that I said, and she laughed aloud. I turned to
look at her and saw it was this, my wife. Surprised, I asked, “Chidimma so it’s
you that I have been with? She smile and I woke.
How
to achieve yours:
For born dreamers like us, it could be much easier to
have great dream revelations that make it possible for you not to drift from
your God given destiny, including meeting the wife and husband and of your
dream.
But for the majority who do not dream that much or
whose dreams fall short of the relevant revelations, I think it may demand a
little more efforts that include remaining focused on what you actually want in
life , God’s favour upon you and being close to God through prayers and
obedience to his commandments.
In Genesis….its says, my people shall dream dreams.
That continues even up till now, in Mathew…….i am the same today, tomorrow and
yesterday.
However, based on my experience and those of many
others including those who are happily married, born again Christians, counselors
and dreamers like me, the following observances will help you to locate your true
husband/wife, thus ending your endless search for your God ordained future
partner. They include, being in great communion with God, Pruning yourself of
human beings who do not add value to your life and being flexible in your
attitude to life. For an in-depth knowledge about how to dream well, read this
book “ACHIEVING GREATNESS THROUGH DREAM REVELATIONS”.
Going forward, these activities will help you to
minimize mistakes in your quest to achieve that great revelation that unearths
your life partner from the Almighty God.
Start
early to pray: One of the greatest mistakes that bachelors
and spinsters make in their search for life partners is that of waiting till the
dying minute, when they feel they are due for marriage or when people pressure
them to marry, before they start praying for future husbands/wives. This is
both disastrous and unproductive.
At this time you are matured ‘age wise’ and
pressures are mounting on you from different quarters to settle down
immediately or within the next couple of years. You realize that the time to
actually do real prayer is not there.
At this point, both males and females are in
confused state. While it is believed that this time, the clock is ticking very
fast for ladies making them less competitive in the marriage industry, the men
who may have gathered enough financial muscle and lifetime experience are the
toast of many women who flaunt around them, thus confusing them the more.
Realizing that you need some time to pray and
possibly another to wait on God to answer you, it makes meaning to start
praying right form secondary school and tertiary institutions.
Mind
who you meet for prayers: If you are planning to go into
marriage as you should if you decide not to be a celibate, one of your major
preparations should be to come closer to God in prayers and supplication.
Therefore, I recommend that you pray your way out and only consult your
spiritual directors probably for guidance and support.
Regrettably, many especially among our separated
brethren have turned their pastors and prayer warriors into demy gods, who must
give approval whether or not the two of them are perfect match. This is risky, because
most of the so call men and women of God may not be as powerful as we believe
them to be. As a matter of fact, many are fakes.
Perhaps, many people do not understand how activities
take place in the spiritual world. As a result, they expect their pastors to
not only be a preacher, but also a prayer warrior, healer, prophesier and
visioner. No one has that capability, except perhaps in very rare cases. In my experience
as a dreamer, I don’t just dream everything, I dream about things that affect
me, my relatives, people around me and events in the environment. For outsiders
who had asked me to pray along with them, I first of all, make them part of my
life, to start seeing things about them. That’s how it works. So don’t be surprised
when your pastors give the wrong prophesies. Trust me; with thousand and one of
their followers and outsiders coming with the pictures of the ones that have
asked for their hands in marriage or that they intend to marry, the pastors
under normal circumstance can’t give you the right answer, especially given the
short time that the confirmations are needed. But out of ego, some of the
pastors give you what they think and not actually what the holy spirit says.
That have left so many devastated after their pastors failed to approve the
real persons that God actually meant for them.
Why not do it yourself? Commit yourself to God and
he will bring him/her to you, in dream or other ways he chooses.
Pray
based on your qualities: I have heard a lot of people
advising others to just pray to God for the wives/husbands that suits him. This
to me is no prayer and would not yield the best result. God is not selfish, so
he didn’t create us as robots. Although he has the power to remote us as robots,
our God is kind enough to give us free will to make choices, a tradition that he
established from the beginning when he created first parents, Adam and Eve, and
kept them in the beautiful garden that he made.
When you pray for your future partner, tell God the
qualities that you want in that great person that he would give you. As I
pointed out earlier, when I was praying, I had on my palms the kind of wife I
needed and I prayed in that line. When my wife finally came after about 15
years, I saw that in all the qualities that I prayed for, none was lacking. In
fact, God added other outstanding qualities that I never remembered to pray
about, thus confirming that he wants and gives nothing but the best to his
children.
Don’t
reject him/her because of temporary physical qualities:
At times, we may not find exactly all the qualities that we ask for in our
future wives/husbands, but as long as you are convinced that he/her is the
right person, please go ahead with the marriage. Some characters, especially
the physical ones, begin to manifest later in life.
When my wife
was revealed to me, I had issue with her complexion and weight, even though she
had a pretty face and stood tall above the ground. I felt she was thin and very
dark, just like me. I needed light skinned lady who is also plump, believing
that the combination would help me to have children with better physical
appearance. Even when someone told me that she would eventually become fleshy
when we start living together, I wasn’t convinced and wanted to chicken out.
Then, she was making guy, proving hard-to-get,
unknown to her that I didn’t even consider her good enough. However, because of
the conviction that I had in my dream which assured me that she was my wife, I had
to remain. Interestingly, just within two months that we were together, my wife
transformed exactly into that my dream wife, with chocolate skin colour, and
fleshy body, as well as radiating great beauty.
Change
location and attend functions: After residing
continuously in a particular street and yard for up to three years or
thereabout without any man noticing you to be good enough for marriage, one
thing that should come to your mind is that you probably may have faded in the
eyes of people there. Another is that, may be your husband is not in that
vicinity or that it is not time for him to locate you.
You should then try relocating to another place where
you will appear fresh, and no one knows your history that may work against you.
Regrettably, many ladies would remain in a particular place even in the midst
of past boy and men friends, until their fruitful years are over.
For many years of dreaming about the place of my
wife, I never met her, until after I traveled from Lagos to Abia State where
she was then based.
Apart from changing locations, attending functions
such as weddings, good parties and get together, offer great opportunities to
meet new people, thereby bringing you closer to your God ordained life
partners. Try also to be flexible in adopting modern things to still look
trendy, while making effort to dress fashionably.
You
must not find him/her yourself: It is common to hear young
ones these days say that they neither believe in match making nor betrothing. For
those with this mentality, my advice is for them to quickly wake up from their
slumber. Marriage by introduction otherwise called match making as well as that
by betrothing , are still very potent and fruitful as they were in the times of
our ancestors. Have you not observed that the rate of divorce appears to be
even higher now that young people mostly select their spouses by themselves? It
is believed that because the ladies or men being introduced to you may have
lived long enough with the people that brought them to you; meaning they have
fair knowledge about their behaviours. So, if there is sincerity, they there is
no way they would introduce to you someone whose character is questionable.
Besides, the person may actually be the one that God
preserved for you, that you have not been able to locate. So, instead of
rejecting out-rightly, you will be on safe side by taking time to pray over it,
and if you have been praying, it would be clearer.
I wish here to notify you that I was able to get the
clear image of my wife in the dream after she was introduced to me. That year,
I traveled home and just as I alighted from the vehicle, I saw a lady that I met
last during primary school period. As she came to help carry my loads inside my
father’s house in the village, she told me of one girl that she loved so much,
and had wanted her to marry a good man like me. I smiled mockingly, when she
introduced me as a good man. I could remember that when she said it, I wasn’t interested
because I had another girl that I made up my mind to marry after many years of
waiting. However, since God had a better plan for me, I didn’t even knew how I
accepted all that she said, and with an address she gave me, I went to locate
the girl in her school. Today, we are exceptionally happy husband and wife.
Wait
for the Lord’s time: God is God, he is not man. He does his
thing at his appointed time. A great deal of patience is required to avoid
falling into the wrong hands in marriage. Unfortunately, the word patience is
lacking in many people. They feel they are running out of time, so they just
jump into whatever that is available, instead of praying a little harder and
longer for the right person.
I was among those that were not patient to the end.
When my wife told me to give her more time to think when I approached for the
first time, I felt insulted granted that there were many women that were dying
for me at that time. I simply forgot about her and deleted her phone number. When
she eventually old me of her parent’s decision that she mustn’t marry outside
her community, it made no meaning to me as I wasn’t interested any longer.
But, despite the fact that I wasn’t willing to marry
her and even hated her, she continued to be my favourite in dream. Perhaps,
because I had the grace of God over me, God used different means to separate me
from unhealthy marital commitments that could have ruined my life. Friends, since,
you might not be as fortunate as me, extra care is needed to be safe. So, wait
for the lord. It is better to wait longer to find your real bone than rush and make
the worst mistake of your life. Remember mistake in marriage, is easy ticket to
hell fire.
Avoid
the Deadly Mistakes
Pregnancy
can’t to tie down a man: When a man is not interested in
marrying you, nothing will change that, even if you give him a set of twin. So
trying to catch him by having him impregnate you, will amount to a waste of
time and the disgrace of your person. Sometimes, even if the guy wants to bring
you home because of your condition, the pressure from relatives won’t allow
him. Also, when God does not approve it, nothing both of you does can succeed.
I know of a guy who at first never wanted a lady. With time, he was forced to
change his mind out of pity for the girl who was developing hatred for him for
not granting her request. A very tough decision for the guy indeed, he
persuaded the lady to conceive as a ploy to force his family members to
acceptance, and also be sure that the girl in her late 30s could still
conceive.
They both agreed and soon had a son. However instead
of the marriage to hold as planned, it was one issue to another. The guy has
heard dirty secrets about the lady and was afraid that he was bringing fire
upon himself. To confirm that his fears were right, the lady in question
started seriously exhibiting some difficult traits. First, she refused the man
access to any document pertaining to the baby. She not only seized the child’s
baptismal card and his birth certificate, but ensured that he never even set
his eyes on the documents, however hard he pleaded. That was as all expenses on
the child were made by him.
In the process, the guy began to suffer severe
financial losses whenever he made up his mind to visit the lady’s people for
the marriage things.
It got a level that he became so afraid, and worried
that he was making the greatest mistake of his life. That was when he realized that
there was need to seek the face of God to confirm if the lady was actually the
right person for him. Since they already had a child, his motive wasn’t to
abandon her if the prayer turned out otherwise, but to ask God for mercy, if he
finally settled with the wrong person. In the process of the prayer, he had
countless opposing dreams, during which another lady was constantly brought to
him as his real wife. The more he prayed for God to unite the two of them, the
more he dreamt about another woman that he had not seen yet.
All the people that he shared the dreams with warned
him not to continue with the marriage, concluding that a child should not be
the reason for marriage. While he was bent on fulfilling his promise to marry,
he was greatly concerned about the future consequences of putting up with the
wrong wife, granted that the lady was already exhibiting traits he considered
to portend danger.
He needed the lady to give him assurance that she
won’t turn into a bad wife and make life a hell for him. So one evening after a
long silence, he told her, “I don’t know how you will take this, but the fact
is that I am terribly afraid about the kind of wife that you will turn out to
become. Give me your word that you will not make life a hell for me, at least I
will remind you with that whenever you start dealing with me?” But she bluntly
refused to make any commitment and only said, “It is your behavior that will
determine my actions. All I can say is that I am a woman of peace”.
He was not satisfied with her shabby reply and he
concluded that he was actually in a journey of no return. He then decided to go
ahead and marry her just to fulfill all righteousness, but to divorce her
immediately. The next step he took was to meet his parish pastor for
confession. On hearing his story, the pastor was easily convinced that the two
would be a threat to themselves should they go ahead to wed, describing them as
victims of circumstance. The man of God told him, “ I could see no love
existing between the two of you based on the tune of your voice. For now,
forget about the marriage. Confess your sins and ask God for forgiveness, and
never go back to your sins. The thought of God is different from that of men.
He has forgiven you”.
That was how the risky marriage ended.
Looking at the scenario, I feel they were just
ignorant and above all the will of God prevailed. If they had prayed, kept
themselves holy according to the commandments of God, and avoided unhealthy
commitments, they would not have brought such shame upon themselves and their
families.
Don’t
allow him shoulder all your financial problems:
We inherited a culture whereby man and woman relationship is like trade by
barter with the woman expecting the man to shoulder all her financial problems
while in returns she offer him sex. This is very unhealthy and wicked. As a
woman, you little yourself by mortgaging so cheaply, yours sexuality which is
your greatest asset , for the mundane reasons of wearing the trending fashion
materials and accessories , expensive mobile phones, paying your rents , etc. Take
it all leave, woman who demand so much from men are seen as being after
material things as well as worthless. So, sometimes, even if your proposed guy
has seen enough spiritual signs suggesting that you are the right woman for
him, he may still dump you if a more responsible
lady shows up at that critical point when he must present the would be wife to his family.
Don’t’ be quick to ask or collect his gifts and you
will see how he would so value and respect you, so much as that he would have
to think twice before opening his mouth to invite you over for sexual
intercourse.
The point here is that, as a lady, you should know
that being financially reliant is important so that you do not unnecessarily
embarrass yourself by depending on a man to pay your bills.
When I say ladies being financially reliant, it
includes even offering to pay for their meals when they visit the restaurant
with males for a launch. In the office, they was a Muslim lady that was known
for this. She would go to the office canteen for launch, and would pay for the
two plates behind the guy’s back. Every one fell in love with her unlike other
women that were pestering on different men to take them for launch. As a matter
fact, the lady became the toast of many eligible bachelors. So, at a time when
ladies were crying over scarcity of men to marry them, she actually had so many
good men to choose from.
Sometimes
gift is a sign that he is a husband material: Whereas as a
lady, you are advised not to show to expect the man to shoulder all your
financial responsibilities, the willingness or interest of the boy in seeing to
your welfare, to a large extent sends signal of how good or bad the man would
care for you when both of you finally live together as husband and wife. A man
should not be told to act when his woman is parading unkempt hair, wearing worn
out dresses and looking beggarly. If he doesn’t bother about how you are and
just happy to flaunt you in that horrible way you look and passionate about
sexing you, then it is hard for him to be a responsible man in terms of caring
for you.
If you meet that kind of man, gently begin to
withdraw from that relationship, unless you love him so much, and you are
convinced he has many other great qualities to make up for his deficiency. In
this case, you should find a way to draw his attention to those areas he needs
change.
This also applies to men, if your would-be wife,
earns enough or about the same as you, yet she is depending on you, watch that
parasitic lady; she is likely to make a bad wife to you. I once handled a case
as this. The boy and girl after agreeing to marry, went ahead to have a child
out of wedlock. Throughout the period the lady was pregnant and some months
after, they lived together as husband and wife. One of the reasons the guy gave
for not going to visit her parents to begin the marriage rites was that “she
was very stingy”. It happened that the lady lost her job even before they
agreed to marry, but she had about Five hundred thousand naira in fixed deposit
account and over fifty thousand naira in her savings account. Unfortunately the
man has virtually no savings, because she was the one paying the bills for the
period they were together and his salary wasn’t big enough. It happened that no
matter how hard that the man complained, she would not take anything out of her
bank accounts, claiming that she was not working.
One day, the man traveled to the east from Lagos
dropping only the money for feeding. Just as he landed, the lady called that she
forgot to inform him that baby was to be taken for a checkup in hospital and she
needed about One thousand five hundred naira to foot the bills. It happened
that where the man traveled to, there were no banks and for him to find any, he
would have to pay about two thousand naira in transportation. That to him was
like a waste of scarce resource. So he called her on phone, pleading that she deducted
exactly that amount required from her savings account, which he would refund as
soon as he was back. She didn’t buy the idea, claiming that her ATM card had
expired, and that she could not queue to withdraw at the counter. That means,
no matter how much he would spend or how far he would travel to send the One
thousand five hundred naira, she should do it. The guy apparently trying to
give her a cheap test, refused to pay in that money. He returned to Lagos and
saw that the lady didn’t take the child to the hospital. Instead, she went to
her diary and boldly documented, “baby was to be taken to the hospital but did
not because husband to be refused to send money”. The sight of that negative inscription
completely destabilized him and he wondered how a lady that was begging for
marriage could be that heartless. “If she can behave like this now that she is
on the begging side, how much more when she becomes the woman of the house?”,
she asked himself. He could answer that
question all alone as he consulted some elders in the marriage industry. More
than ten people that he asked said, the lady was nothing but a “bad market”. I
too concur. That was how the man gave her the last red card. So, many women are
like that; very stingy and stupidly cunny. You can’t behave that way and expect
a man.
Keep
your virginity; that is your pride as a woman: Keep your virginity; that is your pride
as a woman: That a man agrees to pay such large sum of money in bride
price and other marriage requirements, when you have lost your virginity, which
is your pride as a woman, doesn’t mean you have completely won. It only
signified how loose and careless you were as a youth that culminated in wasting
what could be your biggest asset as God made it. Bear in mind that if your
spouse had an alternative, he would probably dump you for her, and if you still
had your pride intact, he would definitely love and appreciate you better.
On many occasions, I have men coming back to appreciate their
parents’ in-law after they discovered that their daughters who they married
were still virgins. What a great honour! Wouldn’t you be happy to be so
recognized and honoured?
Ironically, most women, in defending their sexual escapades,
shamelessly say that there are no virgins. Who told you that? Know that there
are many decent girls out there making effort to preserve themselves for their
husbands and be respected. Apart from respect, keeping your virginity would
save you the head ache of contacting diseases, prevent abortion that could
either lead to your death or damage of your reproductive organs and disgrace
you with teenage pregnancy that not only
cost you your education but also cut short your ambition to attain great
height.
Now the question is, are you still complete as a woman? Have you
eaten that forbidden fruit that has taken away your crown?
If you have fallen victim of this, your first step of recovery
is accepting your fault, next ask God for forgives and promise sincerely never
to go back to that sinful act which not only greatly offends God bust also is a
sin against your own body.
Again moving forward, don’t hit yourself so hard thinking over
your virginity. It has gone and will never come back. But with abstinence, your
tightness may return to some extent.
The best you will do now is to resolve to protect your daughters
when they start coming. Train them well to realize the importance of being
decent and the dignity and honour that await them if they succeed in keeping
their virginity.
Don’t
date him for so long: Although it is encouraging that
intending couples should date themselves as long as they keep their closeness
clean, prolonging the duration of the date is often times counterproductive.
I have lived to see relationships which started beautifully
with glamour, taste and reference point crashing suddenly like a pack of cards.
In most of the failed relationships, I discovered that outside interferences
played a great role. For instance, people known or unknown who do not like your
progress may start rooting for your downfall including sowing the see of hatred
in your relationships. They may start from murdering your image to your
intending spouse, his or her family members and even friends, neighbours and acquaintances.
Also, within the period of long dating or courtship
many have nicknamed it, your spouse who may actually not be firm in his
decision among other inadequacies and external pressures, may start seeing other
people who could take over your place. In addition, after dating for so long, especially
in the case of open relationship, members of the public who see you both
together already formed opinion in their minds that you both are couples. So
that alone dims your chance of finding favour in the sights of other eligible
bachelors and spinsters, as the case may be. As a matter of fact, where I come
from, once a particular is seen constantly with a particular man for over a
year, other men run away, and if she is seen with over two different men
especially from the same locality, she is considered a prostitute.
All these points itemized, are some of the reasons long
dating is often frowned at.
He
mustn’t be rich in the beginning: So many ladies these
days find pleasure in running after already-made men for husbands. They want
men with good and trending cars, mighty houses and fat bank accounts. This
mentality is wrong. It robs one the opportunity of marrying his or her God
ordained spouse. The implication of this type of parasitic love affair can be
grave, aside just marrying the wrong person. Think of it, most of the ladies
that are in love with money end up marrying elderly men, some old enough to be
their fathers. What this means is that , the excitement, team play, tender love
affair that is expected from new couples are obviously lacking because the huge
gap in age creates hiatus in relationship. First, the men are almost not trendy
again for a young lady, his sexual performance drastically reduced and even
thinking out of fashion for young ladies. I have met so many ladies who ended
up with older rich men complaining with much bitterness how they were not
enjoying their marriage. Most of them regret that their men treat them with no respect,
not giving them opportunity to make inputs to family decisions, because they
see them as immature both in age and thought. Although some may actually be
destined to end up with older men, but don’t allow yourself to make that
decision; let the approval come from the holy spirit through revelations
including in dreams.
Now this advice is not only for females, but also
males, as many men these days go after women that are comfortable. It is become
a common thing that men should marry working class women whether office
workers, or self-employed through business or handwork. In making that
decision, you should know well that for a lady to have attained some measure of
financial freedom, age may not be on her side again. And when a lady is
advanced in age, she is prone to myriads of maternal challenges including
greater risks of caesarean section during delivery, ectopic pregnancies and
cessation of menstruation. Above all, it is natural that when women are made breadwinners
in the family, their wealth gets into the heads of most of them and they become
bossy even to their husbands.
Nonetheless, these negative attributes are not found
in all older women, as I have seen very many of them, having smooth pregnancies
and deliveries even when they are above fifty. As a matter of fact, many
wealthy women have demonstrated that their humility to their husbands as God ordained
it is not negotiable.
In all of these, my take is, follow the natural
processes and in doing that let God be in the center of it all. With God, you
will surely avoid that avoidable deadly mistake in marriage.
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